Chappy Artist

The twenty-eighth entry.

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 08:26:26 GMT

Funny thing happened the other day. A really cheap bracelet of mine snapped. Oh well. Not much of a loss.

I think they call these things memes. But I feel like being sociable, so...

* Comment here asking me a question.
* Any question. ~~I reserve the right to refuse to answer~~.
* I'll respond to your question.
* You may do this in your own journal if you wish.

~~Why am I even opening up something like this? It's not as if I'm an interesting person.~~

Aichi scares me a little. But I think he scares everybody. Typical luck that I got stuck doing the project with him.

The twenty-seventh entry.

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 10:09:16 GMT

This is my pet rabbit, Juice, sitting on a table in our house. Sometimes I bring him indoors but I have to be careful about doing so. Mostly he stays outside in his hutch or in the other hutch in the conservatory if it's too cold. Sometimes I let him loose in a corner of the grounds - I just fence off a small area so he can't run away but even so, he doesn't really stray too far. He tends to like staying in familiar places. If I'm not nearby, he freaks out and curls up in a corner until I come back.

I was still so angry when I got home. He was a total waste of my time. That bracelet he gave me was shoved in the back of a drawer somewhere. That bookmark was shoved there also. But whatever, it's all done now.

Sometimes I think my pet rabbit is the only one I can rely on.

The twenty-sixth entry.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 18:19:52 GMT

Thank you for the candygrams. I hope that an enjoyable Valentines Day was had by all. ~~Except for you, Ichimaru-sensei.~~

My mother and father were almost unbearable last night before they went out to dinner. They didn't get back until late (I was still awake watching a late night showing of Donnie Darko) Thank goodness their rooms are on the other side of the house. I was still awake long after the film ended just thinking about stuff.

Every time I one of those chocolate kisses, I thought of you. ~~Not that I don't always think of you anyway.~~

I feel happier than I should.

Oh, Ichigo. Too late.

Why do I feel such regret? If only I had waited another week or two... What does it matter anyway? Didn't I already make my choice? And it's not as if I'm not satisfied with it. In any case, I asked him to meet me somewhere to talk.

Even though I didn't spend Valentines Day with Kaien-dono, he still sent me a few messages throughout the evening. It was more than enough. Still, I can't wait until we can spend a little bit of time alone without worrying about people seeing us.

The twenty-fifth entry.

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 09:42:21 GMT

My birthday came and went without occasion. I am not really one for big celebrations although my mother seemed to insist on whisking me away for a couple of days somewhere. It was a lot better than I thought it would be; maybe I just needed to get away from Karakura for a little bit. Sometimes this tiny town can be a bit too much. Plus homework, cheersquad and all kinds of things make my head spin.

But while we were away, it snowed where we were. It was pretty.

I wouldn't say that I win any awards for snow sculpture, but the feeling is there.

Valentines Day is approaching and I have already put in for a few candygrams. Nice ones, don't worry. Those prank candies look kind of gross.

We haven't spoken since about Christmas when I rushed and gave him that peck on the cheek. How stupid. He isn't going to reciprocate my feelings.

The twenty-fourth entry.

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 11:23:16 GMT

Merry Christmas Ichigo, Tatsuki-san, Orihime-san, Hinamori-san (use it for tennis), Michiru-san, Mizuiro-san and Keigo-san.

I've decided to name my pet rabbit, courtesy of my Secret Santa, Juice. He was sitting in my room poking at a juice box I had decided to drink later ~~no, I don't have trouble opening those things~~ and it seemed appropriate. My parents seem to think that having a pet will teach me responsibility.

Pyon, I don't care what you say, I am deciding the music for the party. You've made my ears bleed enough over the holidays.

To everybody who wishes to attend the party, it will be held around New Years. It seemed better that way after the whole fiasco in my house over the turkey. The less said about that, the better.

The twenty-third entry.

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 22:04:01 GMT

Regarding the new cheersquad uniforms, I'm not too sure how I feel about them. They are attractive and striking in their own way but are very daring. ~~Let's see what it feels like trying them on. If I freeze then maybe I can get my father to sue.~~ But, then again, cheerleaders are supposed to inspire hope ~~although we're not meant to be easy targets for ogling~~ and are supposed to, well, encourage the team ~~oh God I can see so many innuendos I think I'll stop now~~ so we have to be cheerful at all times and look our best. We'll see what happens.

Christmas shopping is all done. I'm early this year.

Thank goodness there is no Christmas dance or whatever this year. Although my parents are encouraging us to have some kind of party at home. They've even volunteered to go away for the weekend and leave us all to it. They've told the servants already to clear the place of valuables but we'd be limited to the ground floor and part of the gardens only. Trust me, it's more than enough space to be comfortable.

So, would anybody be interested?

~~My parents want me to extend the invite to teachers, too. What the hell? If I have to then they'll be at the other side of the house. With my brother.~~

The twenty-second entry.

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 21:24:28 GMT

I shall join the hoards of people who complain about the dance. But then I shall say that perhaps it was my own fault for not making the effort to socialise. Just stood around talking to random people, wishing that I hadn't bothered dressing up and had just stayed at home watching old films. Who am I kidding? I was never a social butterfly to begin with. Hope that some people had a good time.

Now it's back to regular times. Which is better? False festivities or mind-numbing regularity?

The sight of a mask on my bedroom floor the night after struck me as rather profound.

Didn't expect to see anybody or recognise anybody. Whole thing was a waste of time really. I suppose I lingered around for as long as I did in the hope that somebody would recognise me but that was stupid. People do not notice you if you do your best not to be noticed.

My life feels like it is so full of contradictions at the moment.

I bought a pack of cigarettes the other day but didn't smoke them, just sat on my balcony burning them one by one, watching the smoke curl towards the sky.

I need something, someone substantial, not like those little wisps that disappeared in a breath or two.

The twenty-first entry.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 18:05:28 GMT

Results are in and now all of that election junk can be taken off the school walls. The walls are bare again, which I find much more appealing.

Have not decided on a costume for the Masked Ball, which I hear is approaching. Do not really want to think of a costume, but at least I will be masked and so will not have to worry about embarassing myself too badly. Must make sure that I am not identifiable. If I cannot tell who people are, then no way will I make sure people can tell who I am. There must be something comforting about anonymity.

There is going to be a bake sale of some kind, soon. ~~I am being forced to bake and hold no responsibility for any side effects that might happen after you partake of my food~~. It's for the cheersquad, so, and I hate to say this, come for the girls in uniform if not for the cake.

Ichigo - see you at the food court.

Tatsuki-san - Congratulations.

The twentieth entry.

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 07:23:23 GMT

~~I will not admit that I am struggling with the Math homework.~~ I'm finding Matsumoto-sensei's Romeo and Juliet assignment a lot more engaging and interesting than I expected. ~~Probably because it's a tragic love story. Wait, what does that say about...ah, never mind.~~

I cannot walk down the corridors without being assaulted by people's various campaign posters. I hope you all really want this, you know. If you get into office and turn out not to like it, there's no real way to back down. I'm such a pessimist.

But I am hopeful about some things.

They look alike, you know. Kaien-dono (why do I still call him that?) and Ichigo.

Ichigo has invited me out someplace. I don't know...lately he seems so...serious. Even moreso than usual. I hope that nothing has happened to him.

And meanwhile, Kaien-dono is...just Kaien-dono.

I don't know what to do.

How can I be so vain to think that there may be a chance with both of them? And how can I be so selfish?

I don't know what to do and there's nobody to help me.

The nineteenth entry.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 06:06:13 GMT

I have heard (at very short notice from my very beloved parents) that there will be another addition to our household. No, not in the form of a baby, I don't think I ccould handle that, and besides, that godforsaken assignment seems to have that taken care of.

My cousin, Miss Pyon Shirayuki is coming to stay with us, for an indefinite amount of time ~~apparently for good. Shit.~~

Maybe some of the more sociable types will like her. She...is interesting, to say the least.

So, yeah. You'll all get to see a side to my family that you've never seen before. Hm.

You know, I thought I'd finished with all this Kaien nonsense.

Apparently not.

Also, Pyon. You know, I really don't know how I feel about this. I can't imagine Nii-sama is too happy. He likes things quiet and that girl is really really noisy.

The eighteenth entry.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 15:56:21 GMT

It has to be said that it is interesting having a mother who suddenly sees the need to take her daughter away for some 'quality time', lasting for several days in Tokyo. What is the point? Tokyo is so busy and hectic that there's no space for quality time. I think she just wanted some company for a shopping trip. But why am I complaining? No school, and shopping. I managed to buy a new limited edition Chappy plushie, the one where he's holding a teddy bear and wearing pyjamas. He has been added to the rest of my extensive collection.

Apparently there was some sort of waterpark trip while I was away? ~~Oh darn. I'm very sad I missed it.~~ Sounds like fun. ~~I hate getting wet.~~

I've got homework to catch up on. But it seems so dull to have to do it when you're feeling so relaxed.

I don't think I can get used to the idea of a girl and a guy being such close friends. Tatsuki seems more like Ichigo's kind of girl than me. But then again... You know, I'm sick of my feelings changing so much.

Even though I wasn't away for that long, I really wanted to send him a message just to say hi. But it just felt weird so I left it.

The seventeenth entry.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 21:44:24 GMT

Not fun, really. Some parts were bearable but the majority of the trip was not fun at all. You would think that they would be better prepared for such an event. In any case, my father has heard about what myself and my brother have had to go through due to the school and he is complaining. To be honest, I'd rather not think about it any more.

Parts of the forest were beautiful, though. And it was nice to relax a little, even though I was sorely reminded that you should never let your guard down in an unfamiliar place. In any case, tensions were running high for everybody. At least we're all back home, more or less in one piece.

Isn't that great?

I can't stop thinking about how much he looks like Kaien-dono...although I shouldn't. But then the more I look at him, the more I see Ichigo as who he is for himself. It was weird being nice to each other and I think there are rumours spreading about us. Like I care what anybody else thinks. Nobody really knows what happened between us except for us two, and that's the way I would prefer it to stay.

Crazy bitch is still stalking him, though. How can she act all nice and sweet to him after what happened? Maybe I should start putting more effort into learning Kendo.

Sixteen point five.

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 06:05:22 GMT

[Written in Rukia's notebook during the bus journey]

(Incapable de rester toute seule)
Je deteste dormir sans une présence
Les surprises semblent alléger ma solitude
Alors je ramène quelqu'un dans mon lit
Afin de découvrir comment je me sens
Comme un bébé
Portrait d'une femme
Affiche d'une fille

Me satisfaire
Eviter les novices
Ce Ceux qui cherchent à me faire de taire
Jusqu'à ce que je rentre avec l'un d'eux
Car je connais la sensation
De chercher le fil d'or
Et de ne jamais le trouver
(Coming in your pants)
Qui ne pense qu'à coucher avec une
fille d'affiche

Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Je ~~Vous~~ Tu sais que je n'aime pas ma ta réalité
Tu sais que je n'aime pas ma réalité
Personne ne sait ce que c'est
On (ne) peut pas fabriquer la vérité.

"Only idiots use notebooks for diaries."

The sixteenth entry.

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 11:39:45 GMT

I'm confined to the house this weekend. It's not too bad, I suppose. It's not as if I go out much anyway and it's not as if our house isn't big enough that you can't have some freedom inside. But I'm not allowed outside. Only out through the French windows in my room onto the balcony. My parents have told everyone in the house that I am not allowed to step outside the door to the grounds or anything like that. Shit.

My mouth gets me into trouble sometimes. It was only one remark.

Next week though, maybe I will venture out somewhere. But then there's this stupid field trip thing coming up. Whatever. Better than sitting in a classroom.

I still feel really bad about Hanatarou. But he just doesn't understand how complicated my wreck of a love life is at the moment. And if my parents found out they'd do more than ground Kaien-dono. My father would have him gunned down or something. Or at the very least, fired and unable to work. I think we're avoiding each other again. But maybe it's for the best. I hope he's not coming to the field trip. We didn't do that, but... well, we did sleep together. And that's pretty bad, isn't it?

I should apologise to Hanatarou properly. Maybe during the field trip if we get a moment together. Try and explain without revealing anything too much.

And as for Kurosaki...This is just weird. Why am I even thinking about him?

The fifteenth entry.

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 18:17:19 GMT

+Comment here and I'll pick one of your LJ interests and draw a picture using the mighty MS Paint.
+You have no say in what I draw for you, or in how much it will suck!
+Put this in your journal along with the pictures people drew for you. Only if you want to.

Look, I think I just jumped on a bandwagon.

Well, have not done much of digital art forms. Might be a good exercise in experimentation.

The fourteenth entry.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 20:09:39 GMT

Everybody is posting about the aftermath of the dance, but in all honesty I would rather not talk about it. For those of you who must know, I am perfectly fine and safe, and managed to make it home the next morning after spending the night at an old friend's house.

~~Stupid spiked punch. This is why you shouldn't drink, kids.~~

So what fun event do the folks at Karakura have planned for us next? Another dance? Some fun friendly game with a rival high school? A field trip? Well pardon me if I'm not convinced by these attempts to make us have 'fun'. Fun comes from your own freedom, not having to worry about any restrictions, or worry about people forcing you to enjoy yourself.

Otherwise, I had a great time talking with Hanatarou.

I think I left something at my friend's house. Will have to go and collect it at some point.

Thirteen point five.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 22:32:31 GMT

Even though I wasn't exactly in the greatest of states I remember everything with such clarity. And it really did all happen, it wasn't just a dream.

When I woke up, the sunlight was just enough through the curtains to be able to see without being blinded by light. Kaien-dono was looking back at me and we were all tangled within each other, but we didn't move for a very long time even though one of my feet went numb from having the blood cut off from it and I had my hair falling in my eyes and making them itch and they were all crusty from the dried sandy tears and I kept worrying that my head was too heavy for his arm and I kept thinking that I looked like shit and he looked so perfectly natural and at ease like he always does. When we finally got out of bed, it was some kind of unspoken agreement and it was so cold and I wanted to get back under the covers but I knew that I couldn't and I watched the opportunity kind of float away like one of those dandelion heads in the wind. And he offered to give me breakfast but I just had juice and then he offered to drive me home and I don't know whether he was just being nice or whatever but I said no because it wasn't fair and what if someone saw us and I said that I was fine but it looked like he didn't believe me but I wouldn't let him inconvenience himself and then I got washed and dressed and left his jersey in the bathroom and then I just got the bus home like any other ordinary girl who hadn't spent the night in the same bed as her teacher.

No questions were asked at home, I guess I looked better than I felt.

I should feel happy, I suppose.

I'm so confused.

The thirteenth entry.

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 06:52:36 GMT

Unlucky for some, it has to be said.

So myself, Hanatarou, Keigo-san and Soi Fong are going to the dance together. What an interesting group we'll make. Hanatarou, I'm picking you up, right? As for the others, do you also want me to swing by yours in one of the family cars as well? I can't guarantee lifts home, I have a nasty feeling that the chauffeur finishes early that night but at least we get a ride there.

Thanks to the handicrafts club thing, my dress now has a matching shrug.

Things are pretty ready for this dance to happen now.

The twelfth entry.

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 17:47:16 GMT

Sometimes when it rains I go out through the French windows in my room to the little balcony out there. The flowers love the rain and it is beautiful to see shining drops of water on them, like freshly fallen tears. I have a view across the grounds to the streets of Wellington Heights and the streets are usually pretty empty. Out there it feels so lonely, but not in a sad way. Just in a way that inspires reflection and kickstarts some good creativity.

I must be sure to take a photograph of it. Shiba-sensei would appreciate it.

The days seem long, the evenings even longer.

I no longer have a date for the dance. Mizuiro-san said something about being grounded, which can't be good for him. So does anybody want to accompany me?

I don't know why I feel so depressed lately. The dance is coming soon so I should be happy, even if I don't have a date right now. Not that I really want a date but it's a little embarrassing to show up on your own.

Still wish that Kaien-dono could take me.

I feel something in the air, something strange lately. It's making me feel unsettled.

The eleventh entry.

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 20:37:11 GMT

There is something oddly perfect about the number 11. Just those two parallel lines.

The dance is fast approaching but at least I managed to find an appropriate and relatively cheap dress. Thank you for spending the day with me, Keigo-san. It was most enjoyable. I'm sure you'll look great in the suit you bought. Guys always look good in suits.

Mizuiro-san, Keigo-san, Chiziru-san, the offer of a ride in one of my family's cars still stands. My parents will not mind lending out a chauffeur and a vehicle. Unfortunately, it is the early week for the chauffeur this week, so while i can guarantee a ride to the dance, I cannot guarantee anyone a ride home. I may even leavce the dance early so I can get a lift back to the west side of town. But we shall see what happens.

Are you ok? I'm sorry, it was all my fault.

I wonder if Kaien-dono has a date for the dance? ...Teachers usually chaperone at least.

Will not touch anything alcoholic. Will not make myself look like a fool in front of him. Will just act like I'm having a good time and not even look at him.

The tenth entry.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 08:56:56 GMT

So what has turned into a partnership for the evening has now turned into a group occasion. At least this means that we will have a better chance of having a good time. The more the merrier, for real in this case.

After all of this preparation for the game, I'm impatient to actually watch Karakura play, cheer Karakura on, ~~watch Karakura win~~ and attend the afterparty.

Tuesday
No dream that I can remember, just a vague craving for cupcakes upon waking.

Wednesday
Dreamt that I attended a punk concert in my cheerleader uniform. A lot of focus on vivid colours of my cheerleader uniform and clashing patterns of tartan. Also a lot of flashing silver spiked jewellery but woke up to find that the mirror beads on my dreamcatcher were reflecting sunlight into my face.

Thursday
No dream that I can remember.

Friday
Dreamt that I was visiting a friend's house for the summer, and we were sitting on the porch which just happened to overlook a large stretch of water that seemed to go on for eternity. The sky overhead was a beautiful grey colour and the glass of the water reflected the sluggish clouds that dragged across it. My friend tried to get me to swim but I didn't want to. When I eventually went to dive in, I stepped on the water and instead walked across it. As long as I was confident, everything was good. The moment I panicked, I fell through thr water with a splash and woke up.

Saturday
Dreamt that my mother was making cupcakes. Which is a complete lie, she's rubbish at baking.

Sunday
There was a purple peacock in it with real eyeballs on the end of its tail feathers in a garden that has beautiful rose bushes with stupidly sharp thorns and an eyeball on the end of every one. But it wasn't scary. Actually, it was quite beautiful, in a freaky kind of way. The roses smelled wonderful and the peacock bowed to me when I walked into the garden in my bare feet, the grass prickling between my toes.

Monday
No dream that I can remember.

I suppose anybody who likes that sort of thing will enjoy diving into the depths of my subconscious. Analysing my secret desires and junk like that. Hah.

So much for being normal.

He came back last week, and well, let's just say that absence really does make the heart grow fonder, even though I was just deluding myself.

What am I going to do?

On Monday I dreamt that he kissed me. That just made things ten times worse.

The ninth entry.

Fri, 19 May 2006 08:38:50 GMT

Three is a lucky number, six is a magic number and thus nine is luckily magical.

Exercise really is a stress-buster. I feel pretty happy, but that might be because cheersquad forces you to have incredible amounts of enthusiasm. This team spirit thing is pretty addicting.

So it looks like there are two major events coming up. The basketball game (and afterparty), then the spring dance that just might have a really stupid theme if certain people get their way. The cheersquad get into the basketball game and afterparty free, which is a bonus, and I am going to the spring dance with Kojima-san. How we're going to split the bill has not been discussed yet. Both events should be fun, although it takes some getting used to having to do moves in a short skirt. At least the cheersquad uniforms are attractive. If the colours were distasteful it would make matters worse.

And so begins the process of being 'normal'.

The eighth entry.

Wed, 03 May 2006 06:56:12 GMT

Going out is not such a bad thing after all. It should become something that I do more often. Being stuck in the house all day is not healthy, and wandering around the grounds gets boring after a while if you're on your own.

My time seems to have been well spent going for coffee with Ishida-san and then going to Matsumoto-sensei's party. Of course there always has to be some moderation, so the next few days after that were spent catching up on homework.

As such, I have some time to kill. So...does anybody want to...go out? Like to the mall, or to see a movie or to get milkshakes or something like that. I think I unofficially promised something to someone. If so, then speak and we can arrange some kind of social get-together. Anything to get out of the house ~~and away from Ichimaru-sensei's homework~~.

Just when I thought that I was actually getting somewhere in combating this stupid crush thing, he shows up at the party looking like that and acting like that. It made it difficult to remember how angry I am with him. It might be a matter of pride, as well. Perhaps I am hurt that I allowed him to see me like that.

In any case, I don't think things can go back to how they were. If they were like anything at all. Which is just stupid because nothing could ever come of this anyway. Besides, he was...looking at Matsumoto-sensei. She's much better suited for him and besides, they're sort of closer in age etc. He could never like someone like me, never mind the fact that he's not supposed to etc etc etc.

Maybe I should just leave it all behind. How did it get like this, anyway?

I'm trying to forget by trying to hang out with other people. Times like this, I really wish I had a really close friend of some description.

The seventh entry.

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 21:49:58 GMT

Well, at least I made it through the first round with high praise from Ise-sensei. I wonder if anyone fixed the notice board? Do...Mr and Miss KHS have to do something together? Like an event? ~~Not that I'll win anyway but it would be nice to be prepared, seeing as who has been nominated for Mr KHS~~.

As for the upcoming costume party, I had an idea but also a feeling that somebody might have thought of something similar. So came up with something else. Takes a similar outfit anyway, just some different shoes. No big deal. This party should be an interesting way to pass the time at least.

Tennis is gruelling as usual. Kendo is a little different; at least I'm not the only one who seems to lack skills. It is reassuring. Cheersquad requires a lot of energy. But then again, what else is to be expected?

Something is needed to break the monotony.

The sixth entry.

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 18:36:20 GMT

This project for art...having to draw someone important to you. It has been difficult but after some time spent working in the library, my sketch is pretty much finished and ready to be submitted.

Got so out of shape before school started. My legs were aching after track and all the muscles in my upper back and arms were sore as well after cheersquad practice. At least my throat doesn't hurt. Using the megaphone is pretty handy.

As for this whole Miss KHS thing...who nominated me? I did not think that I impressed teachers that much to be worthy of nomination. At least my riddle was not too difficult. Maybe the next challenge will be good as well.

This week I have talked to quite a few people. Which is pretty impressive. Usually people stay away from me.